I’ve decided to blog about this with the hopes of helping someone who has/will experience issues with sleep. Let me start off by saying that sleep deprivation SUCKS! 60 million Americans are affected by insomnia. For 6 weeks, I was one of these people. On some nights I got 3 hours of shut-eye and on other nights I got no sleep at all. Until this experience, I took sleep for granted. Now I realize how vital sleep is. When sleep goes everything in your life can be negatively affected, including your marriage, work, and social life.
The catalyst for my sleep issue was a cough that would wake me in the middle of the night. When I awoke, I began having difficulty getting back to sleep and this began to frustrate and even alarm me. I tried to force myself back to sleep and when I wasn’t able to enter into slumberville my anxiety increased and the vicious cycle began. I feared that I would never sleep again and this fear kept me wide awake.
On the days when I hadn't gotten any sleep, I was clinically depressed. I was a zombie and had zero motivation to do anything. When I turned the TV on I couldn’t absorb anything that was on the screen. I had no appetite and I lost 7 pounds. My health was deteriorating and I noticed dark circles under my eyes. I called out sick from work a lot because I couldn’t function. I began to isolate myself and when I had to be around people, I slapped on a fake smile just to fit in. My mind was consumed by thoughts of how I would get my sleep. I became obsessed and I spent countless hours Googling cures for insomnia. I saw multiple doctors including a sleep specialist and I was prescribed sleeping pills like they were candy. Lunesta and Ambien didn’t really help because I would wake after 3 hours and not be able to fall back to sleep. I tried Xanax, Ativan, Valium, Restoril (a long acting benzodiazepine) and even Lexapro (an antidepressant). The Restoril was my best option but its side effects were hideous. I tried sound machines and good sleep hygiene, which included no phone or computer screens in the bedroom, a set sleep schedule, and a comfortable room temperature. I bought a heated blanket and even put heavy textbooks on my chest and stomach to provide a comforting pressure. When I woke in the middle of the night, I would get out of bed and read or paint because much of the sleep literature advises not to stay in bed if you can't sleep (which is complete bullshit). I exercised before bed to wear me out and I tried yoga before bed to calm me down. I took Unisom, melatonin, and magnesium and none of these worked. I used lavendar oil and I tried sleep hypnosis, Reiki, and acupuncture. I even consulted a psychic. None of these tactics were successful either. Just hearing the word “sleep” freaked me out and I got panicky when the sun began to set. I was fucked! Or so I thought. After 6 weeks of losing my mind, I finally realized some things that I would like to share with you because now I sleep amazingly! I sleep deep and I get about 6-8 solid hours. I can go to bed at any hour with as many screens on in my bedroom as I desire. I’ve taken myself off of Lexapro and I’m not on any sleeping medication.
Please be aware that this is advice based on my own personal experience and that you may differ in opinion. Also, everyone is different so your sleeping issue may be caused by a medical condition rather than a mental state:
1.) Even though insomnia is an epidemic, few medical professionals (at least the ones I interacted with) truly understand it. The first line of treatment will likely be sleeping pills, which can be highly addictive and even ineffective. I had one physician simply hand me a few packs of new sleeping meds that drug reps had given him.
2.) If you are prescribed a sleeping pill and your underlying cause for insomnia is anxiety then a hypnotic sedative medication can be less effective than a long acting benzodiazepine (which is to be used short term and does have side effects).
3.) Getting out of bed when you can’t sleep isn’t helpful. I believe it’s fine to stay in bed even if you’re tossing and turning. I found absolutely no benefit from getting out of bed and engaging in an activity like painting. In fact, I grew resentful that people were fast asleep while I sat at my dining room table painting like a lunatic.
4.) If you are functioning on little sleep for a few days and you are sincerely concerned about your well-being, there are no options (that I'm aware of) for inpatient treatment to help you sleep. Physicians will suggest sleep centers and what they provide are sleep studies but no immediate interventions. Emergency rooms also don't provide help.
5.) Meditation helps tremendously. It calms the mind thus slowing down the racing thoughts that often keep us awake.
6.) You can’t force sleep. Sleep happens to you. Trying to sleep will never work! Never!
7.) Sleep is an act of letting go and trusting the process. It’s as simple as that. You somehow have to find a way of stripping yourself of the fear around sleep. I did this by knowing I had Restoril in the house in case I couldn’t sleep. This knowing helped to ease my nerves and the fear dissipated. My trust of sleep has returned. Now I lay my head on the pillow and I know that eventually I will fall asleep and I do.
If you ever need to discuss this further please feel free to email me and we can chat.
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